My Amends
by Odeeyou
Summary: (One Shot) Sometimes we fail to see beyond our faults. Sometimes we lose our reason to live. Sometimes we lose our faith. How does one get it back?


DISCLAIMER: I do not own Gundam Wing or the characters in it. This is just a little idea that got my mind working. When we lose faith, how does one gain it back?

My Amends  
  
The storm had been raging through the long hours of the night. Heavy rains fell like sheets upon the roof the mansion. Thunder clapped and shook the foundations of the building. And lightning lit up the sky like fireworks.  
  
Duo woke up with a start. He always had trouble sleeping on nights like these. Such horrible nights. It wasn't the thunder that bothered him. Or the lightning. It was something else.  
  
On nights like these, Duo would hear voices amongst the thunder and lightning. Most times, the voices would be distant. Just barely on the reaches of his hearing. Tonight they were loud. And it frightened him.  
  
No matter how loud or soft it was, he would never be able to decipher just what they were saying. But he heard them. He had spent long nights listening to them. They always came with the storms. Perhaps trying to tell him something.  
  
He always worried about that. Worried that perhaps they were the souls of the lives he had claimed. And one voice was always louder than the others. Always the same voice. And deep down inside of him, he knew who that voice was. It was Gods voice.  
  
He had done many things in his life. Many he was not very proud of. He was Shinigami after all. But he supposed, that God had his Shinigami's as well. Duo was everything he never wanted to be. He could never go to heaven. But perhaps he could still find peace. If he keeps faith. . .

[ Scene Change ]

Heero struggled up the wet slippery roof of the mansion, until he was on the highest peak. Allowing all of his emotions to rise to the surface, he felt hot tears run down his face amidst the rain. And yelled into the sky with everything he had.  
  
It was barely audible amongst the endless clatter of thunder. It was the only way he found he could relieve his stress. His built up anger and emotions. And there was only one other person beside himself that he would blame for it. God.  
  
It was his fault. His fault that he was brought into this world. His fault that everything good that the world had to offer was deprived to him. Was he simply forgotten a guardian angel? Or was he immediately recognized as a spawn of the devil the moment he arose in the deepness of space?  
  
"YOU CALL THIS A STORM?! WHAT KIND OF GOD ARE YOU? WHERE IS YOUR MERCY?! WHERE IS YOUR FAITH?! WHERE IS YOUR WRATH?!" He yelled into the sky shaking his fists in the air.  
  
Lightning bolted across the night sky and rain clouds. And thunder clapped in response. He had never asked for any of this. At one point he might have been to young and naive to know what was best for him. But in the end, it was always his decision. He could always have said no.  
  
But there was never anything else out there for him. What did he have? That wasn't ripped away from him? "My faith?"  
  
"WHY? TELL ME WHY!" He fell to his knees. The winds raged harder with stinging rain across his face. But he was too busy yelling, screaming, and competing with the thunder that roared back at him  
  
"WHY? WHY SHOULD I BE ALLOWED TO LIVE? WHEN OTHERS SHOULD HAVE! WHEN THAT GIRL AND HER DOG SHOULD HAVE! WHEN I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR THE WAR THAT ERRUPTED ON THE EARTH AND SPACE!"  
  
The storm began to finally give down. But the wind continued to howl in his ears as its final response to him. Giving him the answer he would always get. "Because I am the only one truly at fault."  
  
The worst of the storm had passed but the rain continued to fall from the heavens. "I can never commence for the sins I have committed. And while you may forgive me, I can never forgive myself." He clasped his hands and bowed his head. "I just wish I understood why."

[ Scene Change ]

Early next morning, Duo came down to the kitchen in a suite. As always, Heero was already dressed up and sitting at the table eating his breakfast. He grinned at his best friend and put a hand on his shoulder.  
  
"You ready, ol' buddy?" He asked Heero, who nodded his head in agreement.  
  
Standing up, he put his hand on Duo's should as he had done to him. They had been going together for a year now. "Yes Duo. Lets go to Church."


End file.
